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Beginning to forgive California

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Being in America I felt pretty angry and helpless a lot of the time. I was there as a guest, with no space and not a lot of small change. I was holding back getting involved in anything because, I realize in retrospect, because I didn’t want to connect and get stuck in a country that I don’t understand. I mean they do things like pour fracking water into rivers.. What crazy people would do this?

Don’t even get me started on all the insane rhetoric logic or lack thereof that gets prime airtime in this country. And this wild patriotism, it all astounds me.

As does the apparent lack of terms like solidarity, social care, social security nets… I don’t really understand how people live there. Is everybody blindly stumbling around, is this why the media is so dominated by the mantra of: “live for the moment, be happy”, because you better be happy now because ultimately we are all somewhat doomed with threatening poverty in age etc…

Well. I don’t know. I simply don’t get it. I could do with a book that explains America as it is today to me.

I had built up quite some amount of resentment towards being stuck in crazy living arrangements, towards this uncertainty about what on earth is going on, where I would be living next and how it could all work out. So I came back to England to catch my breath. Actually I am no more secure financially here, but I feel more in control as I have longstanding friendships here as well as my own personal Art Museum as well as my life-time collection bookshelf full with a thousand books.

I have had a chance to begin to decompress and begin to heal from the trauma of permanent sleep depravation. And now I am starting to forget the traumatic and crazy living experiences that had me so much in inward hysteric fits. Now I remember what I liked as the other things fade.

I love the delusional optimism which can not be based on anything factual aside from the extraordinarily beautiful geography of California. I miss the coffee fascists who insist on pouring a coffee a certain way, that only this way can be perfect, while in the meantime I notice that the beans are burnt or the type of bean that any self-respecting Italian would reject as sour and undrinkable. I had a lot of fun watching the bearded baristas pour coffee in meticulous, laborious, slow, slow ways. I miss the rawness of life that in all it’s cruel, selfish individualism still presented something honest about the status that we assign to humans these days, namely commodities which are assigned the value that correlates with their bank balance. Power apparently is represented by the accumulation of a fictional measure of wealth. When I really think about it then it is quite an eye opener in general. Well nevertheless, I wish they didn’t have to be on the streets, but I miss the homeless people of the Bay Area. It used to break my heart, time and time again, each time I would pass somebody who deserved respect but still had nothing but a shopping trolley of possessions, each time I would feel so sad and nauseous with that disbelief that America could be so brutal to it’s own people. America wears a very amicable, jovial coat, but inside can be a cold, hard face that doesn’t give much kindness.

Well, I miss the wide streets, the stupid distances between places, the amazing choices of greens in the fresh produce aisles of Berkley Bowl or even the more pricy Rainbow Groceries..

I wish it all wasn’t so far away, maybe that was one of my key points of resentment: being on the other side of the planet when my books and Art work were 7000 and more miles away. It was tough to be so far from home. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been in a time when it meant that the journey home could be measured in years, not days.

The colour of the air in Oakland and San francisco, I miss that. I know air has no colour, but I like to imagine that it did. For the time being I am filled with endless relief that I am back in England, but we already started thinking about my return to America. Via Asia.. Yes.. But maybe I need another blog for that? Or maybe I should just change the name of this one..

What next? Will I keep my Green Card and build a life in America?

what would you do?

Life is Easy

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It was by chance that I stumbled on this talk this evening when I was listening to a couple of other good talks about what is really essential in life. What we really need instead of what we hold onto out of fear. But none of the talks spoke to me like this one did.

It felt like Jon Jandai responded directly to a conversation I have been having with myself over the past year and which feels like it is coming to a point of critical mass, that moment when some change will take place because it just has to. The way that nature takes its course at times because nothing can any longer remain the same.

So here it is, the most positive and life affirming talk that I have heard in the longest time and which answers questions that nobody answered for me before. And you know what is mad? I met this man and said yes when he asked me to make some drawings for his business about 18 months or even 3 years ago, I was in Chiang Mai several times and I am not sure which time we spoke. But then life happened and I just failed to follow up. Little did I know that right at my fingertips was a person who has some answers. but maybe I had to go on the journey first. I couldn’t have the answers until the question became so burning that I was ready.

I don’t know, maybe it’s humbug. But I felt seriously brimming with joy and a sense of serendipity when I stumbled on this talk. I would like to invite you to sit still and see if the words resonate with you as much as they did for me. Please feel welcome to leave me any thoughts in the comments section.

When the dog and I saved a baby groundhog on Land’s End Trail, San Francisco

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We are house sitting in San Francisco, pretty close to Land’s End Trail and with that pretty close to the edge of the world, or so it feels. The air is amazing here, the silence only broken occasionally by soft voiced fog horns.

On a recent walk with the dog that came with the house, dog and I discovered a Groundhog laying in shock, exposed by the side of the trail. My theory is that another dog had previously dug the groundhog baby up and now it was petrified to move. Our house sitting dog pointed her gentle nose at the groundhog and then walked away, leaving me to scoop it up in my XL sized sweater sleaves.

J and I took a couple of photos of it while I checked out if it looked hurt. And I then carried it to an area with deeper grass, just meters from the finding location, and let it walk off the little impromptu wooly nest that it had been sitting on. Groundhog baby walked without a limp and I hope it is safely reunited with its family, and out of sight of the Red tailed Hawks that I have seen flying by on occasion..

Dogs of Oakland & Berkeley

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We went to the Actual cafe sitting somewhere not far from the borders of Oakland and Berkeley, it near Berkeley Bowl actually.

Actual Cafe is actually another cafe without functioning table service, but we enjoyed having a late breakfast here twice. It isn’t the best cafe in the area but definitely ok and a safe enough bet if you are hungry nearby. However, we won’t be making a detour to go back.

We met this quirky dog outside and it’s even quirkier owner, too.

The signs of a good coffee & good café

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A good coffee in my books requires this main characteristic: have a long lasting, beautiful créma. If there is no créma it might as well be filter coffee and I go to Cafés for the romance, the ritual, the specialness of the experience… If my Espresso or Americano lacks créma then it’s pretty much ruined for me.

I am more likely to forgive burnt coffee flavour, cheap aroma lacking coffee even, but not the lack of a stable créma.

There you have it, I am a snob.

Ideally the coffee should be rich and aromatic, too.

I have a bone to pick with the lacklustre service in American Cafes, especially those that model themselves on a European theme. None offer table service. And it always makes me feel like I am doing half the job myself. Maybe I should also pour my own coffee while I am at the counter or make my own snack?

(The American Diner Cafes do table service , but if all you seek is an espresso and a brioche then you are out of luck, in fact don’t even try to get a fruit salad, that will almost guaranteed be a disappointment)

recommendation: send your staff on holiday to Italy and Germany and once they enjoyed the beautiful table service there implement it here in San Francicso, in Oakland and beyond. It just makes no sense to have the customer leave their bag and conversation at the table to get up, stand in line for another 15 minutes just to order an orange juice or sparkling water, or maybe a snack since they stayed longer than they expected. Just go to the table and offer more beverages & snackables, please…

Sometimes I sit and work / Draw in Cafés

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I have several commissions to finish drawings for and am running a little behind schedule. I blame the unconventional life for this. We lived in a wild house in Oakland for some time, with a landlord and landlady who were full of life while we were slumped, lacking sleep and therefor energy. It isn’t always easy to rent only a room and try and confine an adult life into this small space. Less easy to do this with two lives.

I have lived on my own in a huge apartment that I used to call my castle for over 10 years before relocating to a smaller but warmer apartment instead. Now suddenly we lived in a room. Naturally this created challenges and I have to admit I didn’t succeed in overcoming those challenges as much as I would love to tell you that I did.

So now we are house sitting for a family who are on holiday for a whole month and whose pets and plants have needs that require house sitters to look after them. This works out beautifully for us as well as the pets (I hope, we do give them lots of care and attention and cuddles even when they wake us up in the middle of the night..). Here we have space and the quiet time that we need to plan ahead for our continually unconventional life.

Actually we have just one more week (a little less in fact) before relocating to a rented room for a month. We will stay with a friend of ours in the Mission. She may need a little bit f help with childcare and in return we will get a reasonable discount on rental costs.

For two artists who could easily occupy a warehouse to truly thrive these short-term opportunities aren’t 100% ideal, but in the absence of affordable warehouse living space here in the area we are making the best of the chances that we do have.

Small drawings are a part of that. And scratching the tip of the ice berg with my dormant blogs, of which I have just a few too many…

The chocolate Candy house of Oakland (these days it’s a second hand shop) *{things to do in Oakland}

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The chocolate Candy house of Oakland (these days it’s a second hand shop)

We loved living in Oakland. Telegraph Avenue offered a variety of interesting cafes, shops and communities. Even if parts of it are being taken over by overpriced hipster lifestyle. This pink house used to be a sweet shop. I wish I would have seen it then in it’s original form.

But today it houses a second hand shop with some quality offerings, but beware it isn’t a cheap second hand shop with thrift junk, rather a better selection. However at the back of the store is the thrift, the items with kinks and things suitable for a smaller pocket.

How to get there?
Take the BART from anywhere in the Bay Area and ride to Mc Arthur Bart station, from there it is only a few blocks walk to Telegraph Avenue. If you take a wrong turn on Telegraph you will find yourself passing a pretty great Bagel Cafe specializing in Bagels, freshly baked. So the wrong turn would work out pretty great, too. If you take the correct turn then you will pass a Mc Donald’s and eventually (maybe 2-4 blocks in total) reach the Candy coloured thrift store house.

Chocolate Candy House

We are house sitting in SF

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So it is official: since Tuesday we are house sitting and looking after one lovely dog and two super soft cats, right in San Francisco.

 

The animals need special attention and a certain amount of company which is why we have the opportunity to swap pet care (and basic home care) for a month of fe accommodation somewhere not far from Golden Gate Park, the Golden Gate Bridge and even a glorious beach. It is quite a commitment that we took on, acting for animals can be a bit like caring for children, in as far as you really can’t casually neglect them because you would like to go and follow some impromptu plans instead. 

 

So our lives for the next four weeks will be planned very much around the animal needs. It’s good practice for thinking about having pets again ourselves in the future ( or even small humans). So far the dog is the impersonification of well behaved and the cats, well we have a hard time stopping cuddling them, they are easily the most relaxed and welcome cats we have ever met.

Over 7 seas goes to market this Sunday !

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NEWS: I will be at the Lark Lane Fleamarket this Sunday between 11:00 and 15:00. Hopefully selling a suitcase full of handmade scarves. Craft and handmade prices, but priced in poor wool lover’s & surviving artist’s categories… I won’t be here in November so this is a great chance to stash a few presents for friends and family and yourself!

you can preview (&purchase) on http://www.etsy.com/shop/over7seas
the shop will go on holiday for 10 hours while Birgit will be at the market but the shop will be back live as soon as she gets home and has a chance to edit the sold scarves from the online shop.

breathing / meditation

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I think this is simply and clearly presented. It is easy to follow and effective.

I would know as I am currently riding on the oceans of a wild and stormy life, it appears that somebody didn’t pack a compass nor packed a guide to the stars. So while my little boat is tossed to and fro and I wonder where it will all lead me – all the while hoping that I will not capsize – this little breathing meditation is soothing and helpful.

Preparing Drawings to Post

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Last Import-6 by Birgit Deubner
Last Import-6, a photo by Birgit Deubner on Flickr.

This process always takes much, much longer than I make allowances for. Cutting the mount card, finding the right photo corners (a 3 hour mission of cycling around the city yesterday was needed before I got lucky), then the packaging: Why does it take 60-80 minutes to wrap 4 packages? I really need to find a better way because this is eating into my making drawings time and I can’t imagine how I can keep on top of punctual postage if I was to offer all my drawings for sale at once.. It’s like keeping a box of ants and fleas under control.

I have a new plan, which is to list half of my drawings from this still ongoing series on ebay and make the other half available on Etsy. It is a way of allowing people to buy ‘now’ instead of waiting for the ebay bids to conclude and at the same time will help me get feedback on Etsy, I hope.

I really love Ebay. It has been fantastic to get such a positive response from Ebay bidders and buyers.

http://overthesevenseas.blogspot.co.uk/