My partner Jason and I have lived a peripatetic, nomadic life, straddling the far western coast of California and the West Coast of Great Britain. Growing the roots of our relationship in an ever changing plant pot.
Our 8 year anniversary is coming up very soon. It will make exactly 8 years since our first kiss, under the grand finale of Venetian fireworks at the foot of one of the two famous columns on the even more famous St Marco Square. We could have no idea that from this one, unbelievably romantic moment so much happiness and struggle would emerge. Neither of us had any plans of spending 8 years in regular intercontinental movement, not spending one whole year in any one place. We only once managed to spend a completely uninterrupted 13 months together, for a seemingly endless number of years we survived long geographical breaks, the longest lasting 5 months, twice! (But then again, we also know of course we only had 8 total, so it can’t have been THAT many years.)
We needed a lot of patience, endurance, faith, stubbornness and perseverance to make it as far as we did. Not that being together is difficult at all but the real challenges are how to maintain any kind of career while subjected to the rules of immigration regulations. And just because we could technically stay in one country doesn’t always mean that the person having to leave it all behind is ready to do so yet.
Everybody always says: ‘Just make a choice’. ‘Are you not tired from all this moving around?” “Have you thought of staying in just one country?” .. well.. I won’t even begin to answer. I always have to hold back my inner lioness and snarky modes.. Duh, of course we would love to stop moving, but it isn’t always that easy!
But let’s backtrack!
I am about to embark on a major expedition of facing my obstacles, moving countries requires untold courage as incidentally does ‘giving your dreams’.. They always make it sound oh, so, easy in those blogs and blogs and articles and motivational memes. But following a desire to be somebody specific, breaking into a career that doesn’t just work out ‘just because we are following our dream’, incredible amounts of daring and research and study make for a better chance of reaching set goals. But honestly, who has ever set up their own business!? Fair enough, when we were 20 and had no care in the world and effectively the world just winked at us and it was ok to not do things exactly properly, but that’s a different story isn’t it, once you reach your mid 30s, or let’s be honest, your 40s and beyond!
Of us it is expected that we do things ‘properly’, do business by the books, register the correct things with the correct offices, jump the paperwork hoops and in short be a grown up or face some serious financial consequences if we goof and ‘had no idea’ how accounting / filing taxes works. It’s somewhat unfair that people think that just because we are a little older we ought to somehow a) know what the hell we need to do and b) are any good at it.
When instead of socialising with friends you find yourself sitting at the computer spending 2 hours learning how to batch rename you image files, when you have another one of those ‘aha’ moments where you realise you just filed the last 5 years of images in a really stupid and difficult to process way! Knowing you are now an adult and better sort your mess out.
Hang on, what was I actually planning on telling you today!?
That’s it: I am moving to America. This time properly, or at least relatively properly: I’ll be getting my paperwork in order this time. All those things I have successfully avoided these past, nearly 8 years, of relationship with my American love bug! Getting my own bank account, sorting out a valid driving license so that I can finally get around a bit more independently without always having to wait for Jason to have some time off, maybe integrate into local life a whole lot more than I have done in the past and last but not least, because it is almost the most important: I have no choice anymore, I must find the courage to do what I love; even if I worry that I might not be good enough.
There will always be somebody more amazing than I. In the meantime I have skills to share and passion for projects to develop.
San Francisco, I am moving back. Just 7-10 more days. Not sure which day I will hop on the plane yet. Let’s see.