coffee, journal, Life, over7seas, writing
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Taking inspiration and courage from the small silver linings of life…

What are they? Those elusive silver linings at a time when international politics has gone upside down and many are scared, me included? What are those silver linings when the intercontinental love affair that has now lasted over 7.5 years also be the primary contributing factor to the situation that I may have forfeited my residency right in the country that I have called home since the 90’s !? When all that nomadism has rendered me quite penniless, quite literally, at this moment in time? When health is shaky because stress is constant?

Silver linings: First and for most of course the answer just has to be: Espresso is a primary silver lining!

And: I have had the great luxuries that money can or can’t buy: time. I have had a lot of time in the arms of the one who truly loves and supports me. I have had time, a lot of it, to become the person I am, which would have been impossible in an easier, more standardised and more secure life. I have a library of books, which admittedly would be bigger if I had a more secure existence..

More silver linings… we are jointly inspired and share many of the same values, nourishing and pushing each other to better ourselves and raise out standards all the time. While also be forgiving of each other’s shortcomings or struggles.

I was just today reading one of the early blog posts on the travel blog of 8 Miles from Home, a young, much younger than me & us, couple who did something that I find incredibly amazing and limitlessly inspiring: They created a life for themselves based on their photography and film making skills; they were based in Thailand for a long time, legally, they found a way to obtain the correct visas to be in Thailand longterm, something few digital nomads, do. They also created a rather sustainable, while modest, life for themselves and recently made their move to Portugal, where their living and life continues. I am forever amazed at their continuity / consistency, their discipline and clearly their integrity. I am not always hugely ‘entertained’ by their vlogs that they post (unfailingly regularly!) on youtube but I do very much admire the incredible amount of work that goes even into an uneventful day’s vlog. Planning and editing, posting always like clockwork on time.. Those are just a few little snippets of what I find makes this peaceful and harmonious couple admirable.

So what…? What I was saying was that I read one of their early blog posts on their website today, in it they wrote about how it was, what was involved in getting ready to begin their life together in Thailand, where they stayed living for several years. The time and effort involved in just shedding life’s surplus possessions. The emotions that one goes through letting go. The obersvations and realisations of what extra stuff affects in life.

I too find that the belongs that are stacking up everywhere are adding to the imprisoned more than enriched feeling of life. But this may well be that my specific situation is affecting this experience.

My partner is American and I am German and it is frankly very hard to no longer truly feel safely grounded in any which single country. Our life is dominated by too many location changes, often accompanied with location insecurity when we are in America. (We do not have a fixed address that we can permanently call home there but rent a month here, a month there, however we can piece it together with our income and available rental spaces.. It is far from ideal for 2 workaholic adults trying to work with focus)..

Where is this going?

As a couple we are as strong as ever, as happy together as ever. The difficulties are heavy but we are right now considering to first make out permanent base in America and then spend a year together in Thailand..

This means resolving my entire Art studio in England, 20 years of Art and equipment, life belongings, some of which have become dusty and lost all their monetary value… It is an emotional journey and grief is definitely an apt word to use as I pass through the first miles of this long metaphorical road trip from a place that is filled with memories to finally letting go so that I can journey to a place that is open and spacious for new memories.. I knew for many years that in order to be happy with the love of my life I would have to find the courage to let to of my life as I knew it up until we met..

I have not had that courage. And I have paid a high price of fearfulness and feeling that my stuff is holding me hostage, emotionally and physically..

So I am reopening my ebay shop. I am only just beginning to list everything I can there and my target is to fill it with at least 100 things at a time.. I am still not very good at Ebay-ing, my descriptions are too long and cumbersome and I wonder if I am putting people off.. But hopefully soon the rock will start rolling down the hill and gather momentum and clear a path ahead.. (hopefully without rolling over anything precious.. I am not sure this was the best analogy to use.. rocks rolling downhill usually cause collateral damage..)

Here is a link to my ebay shop, in case you find something that fits your life without being a burden on yours, it will lift a proportional weight from mine and set me free a little piece at a time:

everything is posted from the UK.

{{ p.s. I opened a second ebay shop, and will actually close it again once the first batch of listings expires, it was a bit of an error of judgment because I thought it would make sense to have a US & UK ebay shop, but actually I can just change the currency and location of my existing shop in the future.. But here is my second, temporary ebay shop, too, because I have listed different things in it:

Ebay shop 2  – everything also ships from the UK, despite the shop being a US based setup.. Sorry if that is ultra confusing. I’ll try and merge these two accounts over the coming weeks.}}

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