It is November 7th, 2 days after the US presidential election. The mood in San Francisco is tangibly somber. If I had a butterknife to hand then I am sure I could cut through the atmospheric cloud hanging over this city today. It’s more tangible than yesterday, which I assume is due to a level of collective denial “This can’t be.. I must be dreaming..?”

I’m trying to ignore it all because I can not change it. I can’t wish the world around me into compassionate and flourishing reality. Instead I pondered this question:

“What could I achieve with all this worrying energy?”

If I invested equally as many hours into one practical hyper-focus; instead of investing those hours into another chapter of global anxiety inducing events or whatever this is that we will all experience in the coming political season(s)…?**

One thing that is certain that this upcoming chapter will bring changes. Changes that many fear, changes that others look forward to. I’m not good with change in general but when it is political it feels additionally daunting.

But if I took one lesson from Brexit* then it is this… Back then I made the mistake (was it a mistake?) to try and put my life on hold while I waited for clarity.

I wanted to stay in the UK and keep my life, career and friends there. Instead I ultimately ended up re-enacting that scene from the Disney version of Cinderella, where the mice scrambled to safety, running from a cat, and the one mouse couldn’t run as fast nor slip into the mouse hole because: that mouse held on to too many pieces of cheese. I was that mouse. I AM that mouse, still. In trying to hold onto everything I inadvertently may have lost more than most.

The lesson I learned:

TRY to keep living instead of fretting. Accept the change, even if it is unacceptable and maybe even deeply uncomfortable. But in accepting we can live a life worth living.

Fretting and hedging all my bets left me living a life of existing, not a life of living.

That’s really what happened and it is HARD to come back from. I am still trying. Because we actually get older. Knowing about and experiencing aging are two entirely separate entities. Knowing is not enough to take the actions our aged selves with our younger selves could have taken. It was impossible to really picture this clearly as I was in my 30s, then in my very early 40s. And now, now I am unavoidably older. There is no way to roll back time and catch up on the joy I missed out on. I can’t erase the suffering my bet-hedging has caused me. I can only share this with you:

Keep living actively and optimistically and talk yourself into letting-go if letting go means that you can re-build. I didn’t want to re-build anything I wanted to keep what I already built. I couldn’t have imagined then, in 2016 and ongoing years, how bad a choice that ultimately was. I waited a decade of my life away, if you count the time that I paused life, while waiting for my American Greencard, too…

So take it from me: LIVE life, create, build. Political reality may change and bring unavoidable aspects with it. But there ARE aspects of each of our personal realities that we CAN be in a lot more control over than many of us are. And it comes down to personal choices, to discipline (ok, I KNOW it’s not easy, I am a very distractable person, getting started with a new and discipline requiring life choice is a profound challenge; but it is not insurmountable. Go and challenge yourselves!)

**Imagine what could be aachieved within 1 year; better yet: make it 4 years; of intense focus on an empowering skill… It is open to interpretation what constitutes a skill empowering.

It could be masterful baking or refreshing mathematical skills and learing accounting (yes I know “AI does everything better,” etc.. I know but any more doom-and-gloom and we might as well go dig ourselves a nest into a cave and wait for the end.) Learn a language to fluency, just for the joy of it. Or learn mechanical skills to fix things. There is SO much we could do with that hour or more of doomscrolling many of us do on a practially daily basis. Don’t we all fritter time away like as if there would always be more of it? Do you think that you are as guilty as I when it comes to spending 2 hours a day on a time sink? Pinch of 1/2 of this time as a gift to yourself. 300-365 hours in a year. That’s a significant chunk. Could it be life changing? Tell me…

Which skill should I choose? Please share your inspirations with me. And will you also choose something to learn / do?

And remember someone else feels: that right now is a time for celebration. I don’t have to see it how they see it but it’s worth taking a look to try and understand the world from their perspective. Difference and also humanity is what we have in common.

P.p.s. I know, I know, “this is a heavy time.” But that is exactly why it is important to focus on the light that we can all develop and share.

(Is this too whimsical for you? I sincerely speak from very grave experiences that have cost me most of a beautifully established life, a life of creativity and relative economic security. If I say to do something whimsical for your mental health and to help you live your life then really it is not a flippant suggestion but one I learnt the hardest way.)

*Brexit was the June 2016 UK vote to exit their membership with the European Union, and it was a much too long, drawn out and often unclear processes until it finally closed that chapter (yes I am over-using the word chapter in this journal entry but I am real and not a glossy AI, it’s in my imperfections that you can find me being perfectly myself).

Breathe & be your best self.

Make yourself a pancake and run a hot bath. See you all soon.