Dungbeetle and Sisyphus / in the countryside / art / performance for film and passing audience 2008, a photo by Birgit Deubner on Flickr.
.. When life is full of human sized Dungballs then you really know that it is time to work out a plan of action..
I am finding myself in a situation in life where everything could happen or nothing at all, and don’t you just love it when I am exceptionally abstract and … yes by now I would stop reading, too (I think).
My life is so unbelievably improbable, so much the opposite of normal and while I think that I have an allergy to ‘normal’ this absence of it is making me feel like I am breaking out in a rash threatening to turn into elephantiasis (I enjoy exaggerations from time to time).
What happened to knowing one’s purpose? My weeks and months are filled with research that lies around the place like a bunch of loose ended yarn after a pack of cats went wild on it..
I am practically homeless (I have a place for my books and bed but curiously I appear unable to stay united with that location), not knowing which place, much less which country to settle in. The number 40 is appearing on the horizon, I have kept quite well but any moment now the time-bomb will ignite and I will wake one morning having aged beyond the reach of even the most skin hydrating avocado or other cell quenching superfood.
The planet is self-destructing (or rather the humans on it are doing the job) and I am still not an adult. Wouldn’t we think that it is about time? Can I really continue to be an artist (for a job) when we all know that the world out there is a ‘man’s world’ and that being an artist is a) irresponsible and b) somewhere around 90% of the artists making a living wage will be male…
Purpose: Do you feel that you have a grip on what purpose means to you in your life? Do you ever feel the pressure to locate and act on your ‘purpose’?
(image: my own from this project: Dungbeetle and Sisyphus, screened by the BBC without ever leaving a digital archive trace to prove it, fee received: none)